It probably goes without saying that my children are very advanced. Ryan, for example, is already a credible Baby Evil Genius. I first suspected this was true when I noticed that occasionally, while nursing, he would unlatch for a moment, throw his head back, make an “ah-ah-ah-ah” sound that was remarkably reminiscent of maniacal laughter, and then quickly latch back on before I could put his meal away.
We constantly see him hatching his Evil Plots, now that we know what to look for. Of course, he is a baby, so his Evil Plots involve things like trying to get into the toilet, which he recently realized was full of that most wonderful of toys — water. He also diabolically attempts to seize Nathan’s toys. While Nathan is right there. Nathan, by the way, is considerably bigger, stronger, and more dexterous than Ryan. Ryan’s plots are not particularly well-planned nor well-executed, but he is, after all, only a baby.
Like all Evil Geniuses, he tries to disguise himself with a clever alter ego. In his case, he falls back on playing the “cute baby” whenever he needs to keep up appearances. For example, one of his latest games is to play fetch with himself. When he finds a ball on the floor he likes to give it a good toss, crawl after it to catch it, and then repeat. He can work himself all the way across the house with this game. We’ve tried to play catch with him as well, which he gets very excited about, but he fails to understand the part where he throws the ball back. Dave rolls the ball to him, he successfully snags it, and then crawls over to his father with it, hands it back, and crawls into Dave’s lap where he bounces up and down. “That was fun!” he seems to say. “Let’s do it again!”
He did manage to topple one of our closet doors the other day. I’m still not sure how, except that it involved a bamboo stick underneath it; but I’m very, very glad that I chose to go over and investigate his complaints about not being able to get the stick out, because it meant that when the door fell, it did minor damage to my wrist instead of major damage to his little baby head. As I mentioned, his strategic planning is not yet fully developed.
Sure, he may seem like just an innocent baby. But the other day I suddenly heard someone breathing like Darth Vader, and looked over to see him with half of a plastic Easter egg in front of his mouth, mimicking the sound of the Sith Lord. Coincidence? Perhaps.